Friday, October 16th, 2009

In spite of being told that she would likely do nothing but sleep for a day or two, our little warrior woke up Friday morning. Alert and aware.

Janine and I arrived to visit her in the morning and when we walked into her room she smiled the best Shannon smile I think I've ever seen....with half of her face.

She tried to speak to us, and although at first it was mostly just the word "you" (said in various tones and with pauses as though she was saying a sentence filled with various words: "you You you YOU") she quickly progressed to other small one syllable words mixed in, and she was animated and nodding and shaking her head in all the appropriate places! Janine and I fought back tears and kept saying how AMAZING she was doing. Janine, (who, incidentally, is a genius for those of you who don't know) drew out the letters of the alphabet for Shannon on a clipboard in the hopes that she could spell out the words she could not speak. Although Shannon was unable to spell, she did pick up the pen with her left hand and begin to trace the letters, one by one with a look of fierce determination on her face.

Every so often we were asked to leave the room while her Nurses and Doctors came to check her IV's and tubes. At one point, when we came back into her room Shannon was laying back peacefully. She smiled a little smile and pointed and Janine and said "you". She then pointed at me and repeated "you". She then pointed at herself and said "gatf". Janine and I looked at each other then back at Shannon. She pointed at herself again and said "Gatfa". Pause to look at each of us. "You am you. Gafta". I asked her "Shannon, are you saying that you are grateful?" and she said "YA!" like she was really pleased.

That was enough to turn on the water works full force! Janine and I were in tears instantly and smothering Shannon with hugs and kisses and telling her that WE are grateful for HER.

Shannon continued to try to communicate with us for the next few hours, in spite of repeatedly being told that she needs to STOP trying to talk for today and just rest. Those of you who know her well will be able to imagine this scene easily. Each time a Doctor or Nurse came to her room and asked her to stop talking and slow down for a while, she would look at them with her signature Shannon look, say "ya" in a rather dismissive way and then turn back to us, right in front of said health care professional and to keep right on in her effort to speak. It was inspiring, amazing and not at all surprising, coming from someone like Shannon.

At one point she was trying to tell Janine and I something and in spite of repeating the same series of short words and sounds over and over, slowly, while stopping to choose her 'words' carefully, we could not understand what she was saying. She continued to try, and it seemed intensely important to her. Janine and I kept trying to guess: "Are you saying you are thirsty?" No. "Are you saying you have pain?" No. Are you asking about your family?" No. No. No. Finally, she showed her first sign of frustration by letting out an exasperated sigh and looking up at the ceiling. Feeling foolish, Janine and I reassured her "Don't worry. You're doing great. It will get better. Take a break." and so on. To this Shannon replied with another big sigh and muttered "Whatever" SO clearly that it took us all by surprise. Janine and I burst into laughter, and eventually Shannon laughed with us. This little break of tension seemed like enough to get her going again. She carefully began to repeat her sounds and partial words, this time nodding towards me. I moved closer and said "I'm sorry, I didn't get that, try one more time." She licked her lips and touched her mouth with her left hand, as though to loosen it up. This time she nodded towards me again and said only one word: Gins. "Gins?". She nodded and repeated. Gins, and looked at my legs. "Are you asking me if I got new JEANS?!" She smiled. "Yis!". Janine and I burst into incredulous laughter. We laughed so hard that my face actually hurt, and I felt the beginning of relief. There she was. There was our Shannon.

Shannon's parents arrived from Vancouver at around 2:00pm. She was surprised to see them, and, we could see, so relieved. It was the first sign of the day, that in spite of her fierce determination, she was afraid. I don't care how old you are, when fear like that sets in, a girl just wants her Mommy. Shannon's Mom held her and we all cried.

For the hundredth time since the day before, I thanked God that she was alive.

More to come....but I'm off to see Our Girl now!