Hello All,
I have a favor to ask those of you who still subscribe to this blog.
At 4:00pm Vancouver time today Shannon is going in for surgery. She is understandably nervous, and in light of all that she has been through in the past few months, anxious to get it over with and move forward.
If you could find some time in your day today to pray, meditate or (insert your preferred terminology here) and send some love and strength to Shannon I know she would appreciate it.
Thank you everyone!
Be well....
Leisa
Welcome to Shanbow's Blog
F
I am writing this blog for 3 reasons:1) Yes, I love Shannon, that one is a given.
2) For the friends and family of Shannon Bow who are looking for details on Shannon's status and daily progress.
3) I am writing it too, for Shannon. At the moment she is still having trouble remembering details and there have been so many amazing moments that deserve to be recorded. I think she'll like reading about them later.
I encourage those of you who are reading this to write comments to Shannon. I know she will appreciate it. I asked Shannon for permission to create this blog, and she agreed, so I am sure she will check it out when she can. I have been reading her your text messages, emails, FB messages etc for her and it always gets a smile!
I hope that other people will take a moment to share thoughts, updates, highlights and the like as we journey with Shannon through this time.
Thanks everyone for your prayers, your love and your positivity. It is helping more than you know.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
SB
On Thursday, October 15th 2009 Shannon suffered a major stroke at approximately 11:00am.
The following is as many details as I can offer of the events of that day. I have tried to think of all the many questions I've been asked so far and offer as much information as I can. I've included some details that may seem personal because I want to remember some special moments, and I am not sure if I will have time to write all this down twice. In future entries I will stick to updates, announcements and the like so it won't be so much to read.
On Thursday, October 15th 2009 Shannon suffered a major stroke at approximately 11:00am.
The following is as many details as I can offer of the events of that day. I have tried to think of all the many questions I've been asked so far and offer as much information as I can. I've included some details that may seem personal because I want to remember some special moments, and I am not sure if I will have time to write all this down twice. In future entries I will stick to updates, announcements and the like so it won't be so much to read.
~
Shannon was home alone at the time. She had just finished making plans to attend the Canucks/Flames game on Friday night. She made plans to go to yoga mid-day. She was drinking tea and watching television. Around 11am she stopped answering her phone and responding to text & blackberry messenger messages. For several hours she was 'off the radar' with those of us who communicate with her on a daily basis. During this time, Shannon now says she knew that something was wrong, but that she was confused and things were foggy. She thought that maybe she was having a reaction to something she ate.
Thankfully, her roommate Joanna (who we lovingly call her wife) came home just before 6:00pm and sensed that something was wrong when Shannon didn't respond to her knocking at her bedroom door. Although she assumed that Shannon had fallen asleep watching television, Joanna decided to go in and check on her. I can't tell you how many times since Thursday I have thought about how that ONE decision, the wisdom to listen to her own intuition, has made all the difference. All of us who love Shannon are forever indebted to Jo for the choice that she made in that moment.
When she saw Shannon, Joanna initially thought that she was having a severe migraine. She remembered that Shannon had told her at some point that if she was having a really intense migraine that she should call me and I would know what to do. Joanna called, obviously upset. Shannon was sitting on the floor and could not speak. She did not respond to Joanna repeatedly asking her what was wrong, and seemed to not appear to understand what was being said to her. After discussing these and other symptoms we deduced that it was not in fact a migraine, and decided that Jo should call an ambulance. I headed straight to Shannon's house. When I arrived Janine was pulling up at the exact same time, and the ambulance had just arrived (pause to insert a huge shout out to the paramedics who must have gotten there incredibly fast). As I am typing this, I realize that in all that has happened, I am missing some details. I don't know the details of Joanna's conversation with Janine, although I do know Janine agreed that an ambulance was required. Perhaps Janine or Jo can add any details I may have missed that they feel are important.
I went with Shannon to the Hospital in an ambulance. Janine followed behind. Incidentally, I owe one of you ladies a thank you for moving my car after I left, because I think I may have parked it backwards and in the middle of the road. When we arrived at Emergency, the Doctors and Nurses went right to work. They were incredibly organized, simultaneously working on Shannon while asking me for her medical history, allergies, details of her symptoms etc. Within minutes of her arrival, they brought Shannon up to CT.
While she was gone another Doctor or Nurse quizzed me about Shannon's day in an attempt to determine what time her symptoms began. Thankfully, during this time Janine arrived. Let it be known, that if I ever suffer another medical emergency, I want Janine there, at the hospital, as my advocate. Calm under pressure (oh gracious so much calmer than I) assertive, and incredibly positive, I don't know how I would have gotten through that night without her. In what seemed like only a few moments they had Shannon's diagnosis. She had a left-hemisphere stroke. She had right-side paralysis, and could not speak. At this point, we were not yet certain what time this all began, except to say that it was prior to noon.
By this time, it was well after 7pm. Due to the amount of time that had passed, treatment options were limited. As the Neurologist explained to Janine and I, typically if a person suffering a stroke arrives at the hospital withing 4 hours of the event they can administer medication which, when injected, breaks up the clot in an effective & non-invasive way. This was not an option for Shannon. Instead, The Doctors needed to perform an emergency and relatively new procedure to remove the clot in Shannon's brain manually. This is done by carefully passing a special device from a blood vessel in the leg all the way into the blood vessel in her brain where the clot is trapped. The device captures the clot and pulls it out of the body, thus returning blood flow to the affected area. Janine and I stood by while Dr. Steis (sp?) called Shannon's mother in Vancouver to get permission to perform this procedure and explain the risks.
Listening to this conversation between the Doctor and Shannon's mother was one of the worst moments of my life. Barely able to grasp that this was happening, I was now torn between reacting to the risks and prognosis being described in a clinical way that, to me, didn't even sound like english, while imagining what must have been going through Shannon's mothers mind in that moment. The phone call requesting permission to perform this procedure was the first that Shannon's mother had heard of her being ill. As a mother, I pray that I will never have to receive a phone call like that.
After the Doctor spoke with Shannon's mother, we had a few moments before they wheeled her off for her procedure. Janine and I stood beside her and told her it was all going to be alright. I stroked her hair and asked her if she knew where she was (nod yes) if she knew what was happening (nod yes) if she knew she was going to be alright (nod yes) and if she was scared (nod yes). I asked her if she would like me to pray with her. Yes. Janine held Shannon's hand, and I put my forehead on her forehead. I can not remembered what I prayed, but I don't know if I've ever prayed so earnestly in my life. Shannon and I cried together and I kissed her face and told her I loved her, something I'd never ordinarily get away with. She tried to smile, and nodded again when Janine and I repeated that she was going to be alright, and then they wheeled her away. I am so grateful for Janine, again, in this moment because this is when what was left of my 'cool' completely evaporated.
Joanna arrived at the hospital shortly after Shannon went in to the operating room. We all waited anxiously for several hours until the Doctor reappeared to tell us that they were successful in removing the clot. We had only a few seconds to enjoy the relief of knowing that Shannon would be alright. The Doctor continued on to say that because the left side of her brain was, in effect, without blood & thus oxygen for a considerable amount time, that it was impossible to predict what the long term prognosis would be.
We returned to her recovery room on the 11th floor and sat with her. We watched her sleep, in utter disbelief that this could be happening to our 31 years young, healthy, active friend and numb from the roller coaster emotion of the past 6 hours. Finally, they told us it was time to leave and we headed home for a sleepless night.
Details of the days to follow to come...
Thankfully, her roommate Joanna (who we lovingly call her wife) came home just before 6:00pm and sensed that something was wrong when Shannon didn't respond to her knocking at her bedroom door. Although she assumed that Shannon had fallen asleep watching television, Joanna decided to go in and check on her. I can't tell you how many times since Thursday I have thought about how that ONE decision, the wisdom to listen to her own intuition, has made all the difference. All of us who love Shannon are forever indebted to Jo for the choice that she made in that moment.
When she saw Shannon, Joanna initially thought that she was having a severe migraine. She remembered that Shannon had told her at some point that if she was having a really intense migraine that she should call me and I would know what to do. Joanna called, obviously upset. Shannon was sitting on the floor and could not speak. She did not respond to Joanna repeatedly asking her what was wrong, and seemed to not appear to understand what was being said to her. After discussing these and other symptoms we deduced that it was not in fact a migraine, and decided that Jo should call an ambulance. I headed straight to Shannon's house. When I arrived Janine was pulling up at the exact same time, and the ambulance had just arrived (pause to insert a huge shout out to the paramedics who must have gotten there incredibly fast). As I am typing this, I realize that in all that has happened, I am missing some details. I don't know the details of Joanna's conversation with Janine, although I do know Janine agreed that an ambulance was required. Perhaps Janine or Jo can add any details I may have missed that they feel are important.
I went with Shannon to the Hospital in an ambulance. Janine followed behind. Incidentally, I owe one of you ladies a thank you for moving my car after I left, because I think I may have parked it backwards and in the middle of the road. When we arrived at Emergency, the Doctors and Nurses went right to work. They were incredibly organized, simultaneously working on Shannon while asking me for her medical history, allergies, details of her symptoms etc. Within minutes of her arrival, they brought Shannon up to CT.
While she was gone another Doctor or Nurse quizzed me about Shannon's day in an attempt to determine what time her symptoms began. Thankfully, during this time Janine arrived. Let it be known, that if I ever suffer another medical emergency, I want Janine there, at the hospital, as my advocate. Calm under pressure (oh gracious so much calmer than I) assertive, and incredibly positive, I don't know how I would have gotten through that night without her. In what seemed like only a few moments they had Shannon's diagnosis. She had a left-hemisphere stroke. She had right-side paralysis, and could not speak. At this point, we were not yet certain what time this all began, except to say that it was prior to noon.
By this time, it was well after 7pm. Due to the amount of time that had passed, treatment options were limited. As the Neurologist explained to Janine and I, typically if a person suffering a stroke arrives at the hospital withing 4 hours of the event they can administer medication which, when injected, breaks up the clot in an effective & non-invasive way. This was not an option for Shannon. Instead, The Doctors needed to perform an emergency and relatively new procedure to remove the clot in Shannon's brain manually. This is done by carefully passing a special device from a blood vessel in the leg all the way into the blood vessel in her brain where the clot is trapped. The device captures the clot and pulls it out of the body, thus returning blood flow to the affected area. Janine and I stood by while Dr. Steis (sp?) called Shannon's mother in Vancouver to get permission to perform this procedure and explain the risks.
Listening to this conversation between the Doctor and Shannon's mother was one of the worst moments of my life. Barely able to grasp that this was happening, I was now torn between reacting to the risks and prognosis being described in a clinical way that, to me, didn't even sound like english, while imagining what must have been going through Shannon's mothers mind in that moment. The phone call requesting permission to perform this procedure was the first that Shannon's mother had heard of her being ill. As a mother, I pray that I will never have to receive a phone call like that.
After the Doctor spoke with Shannon's mother, we had a few moments before they wheeled her off for her procedure. Janine and I stood beside her and told her it was all going to be alright. I stroked her hair and asked her if she knew where she was (nod yes) if she knew what was happening (nod yes) if she knew she was going to be alright (nod yes) and if she was scared (nod yes). I asked her if she would like me to pray with her. Yes. Janine held Shannon's hand, and I put my forehead on her forehead. I can not remembered what I prayed, but I don't know if I've ever prayed so earnestly in my life. Shannon and I cried together and I kissed her face and told her I loved her, something I'd never ordinarily get away with. She tried to smile, and nodded again when Janine and I repeated that she was going to be alright, and then they wheeled her away. I am so grateful for Janine, again, in this moment because this is when what was left of my 'cool' completely evaporated.
Joanna arrived at the hospital shortly after Shannon went in to the operating room. We all waited anxiously for several hours until the Doctor reappeared to tell us that they were successful in removing the clot. We had only a few seconds to enjoy the relief of knowing that Shannon would be alright. The Doctor continued on to say that because the left side of her brain was, in effect, without blood & thus oxygen for a considerable amount time, that it was impossible to predict what the long term prognosis would be.
We returned to her recovery room on the 11th floor and sat with her. We watched her sleep, in utter disbelief that this could be happening to our 31 years young, healthy, active friend and numb from the roller coaster emotion of the past 6 hours. Finally, they told us it was time to leave and we headed home for a sleepless night.
Details of the days to follow to come...
Friday, October 16th, 2009
In spite of being told that she would likely do nothing but sleep for a day or two, our little warrior woke up Friday morning. Alert and aware.
Janine and I arrived to visit her in the morning and when we walked into her room she smiled the best Shannon smile I think I've ever seen....with half of her face.
She tried to speak to us, and although at first it was mostly just the word "you" (said in various tones and with pauses as though she was saying a sentence filled with various words: "you You you YOU") she quickly progressed to other small one syllable words mixed in, and she was animated and nodding and shaking her head in all the appropriate places! Janine and I fought back tears and kept saying how AMAZING she was doing. Janine, (who, incidentally, is a genius for those of you who don't know) drew out the letters of the alphabet for Shannon on a clipboard in the hopes that she could spell out the words she could not speak. Although Shannon was unable to spell, she did pick up the pen with her left hand and begin to trace the letters, one by one with a look of fierce determination on her face.
Every so often we were asked to leave the room while her Nurses and Doctors came to check her IV's and tubes. At one point, when we came back into her room Shannon was laying back peacefully. She smiled a little smile and pointed and Janine and said "you". She then pointed at me and repeated "you". She then pointed at herself and said "gatf". Janine and I looked at each other then back at Shannon. She pointed at herself again and said "Gatfa". Pause to look at each of us. "You am you. Gafta". I asked her "Shannon, are you saying that you are grateful?" and she said "YA!" like she was really pleased.
That was enough to turn on the water works full force! Janine and I were in tears instantly and smothering Shannon with hugs and kisses and telling her that WE are grateful for HER.
Shannon continued to try to communicate with us for the next few hours, in spite of repeatedly being told that she needs to STOP trying to talk for today and just rest. Those of you who know her well will be able to imagine this scene easily. Each time a Doctor or Nurse came to her room and asked her to stop talking and slow down for a while, she would look at them with her signature Shannon look, say "ya" in a rather dismissive way and then turn back to us, right in front of said health care professional and to keep right on in her effort to speak. It was inspiring, amazing and not at all surprising, coming from someone like Shannon.
At one point she was trying to tell Janine and I something and in spite of repeating the same series of short words and sounds over and over, slowly, while stopping to choose her 'words' carefully, we could not understand what she was saying. She continued to try, and it seemed intensely important to her. Janine and I kept trying to guess: "Are you saying you are thirsty?" No. "Are you saying you have pain?" No. Are you asking about your family?" No. No. No. Finally, she showed her first sign of frustration by letting out an exasperated sigh and looking up at the ceiling. Feeling foolish, Janine and I reassured her "Don't worry. You're doing great. It will get better. Take a break." and so on. To this Shannon replied with another big sigh and muttered "Whatever" SO clearly that it took us all by surprise. Janine and I burst into laughter, and eventually Shannon laughed with us. This little break of tension seemed like enough to get her going again. She carefully began to repeat her sounds and partial words, this time nodding towards me. I moved closer and said "I'm sorry, I didn't get that, try one more time." She licked her lips and touched her mouth with her left hand, as though to loosen it up. This time she nodded towards me again and said only one word: Gins. "Gins?". She nodded and repeated. Gins, and looked at my legs. "Are you asking me if I got new JEANS?!" She smiled. "Yis!". Janine and I burst into incredulous laughter. We laughed so hard that my face actually hurt, and I felt the beginning of relief. There she was. There was our Shannon.
Shannon's parents arrived from Vancouver at around 2:00pm. She was surprised to see them, and, we could see, so relieved. It was the first sign of the day, that in spite of her fierce determination, she was afraid. I don't care how old you are, when fear like that sets in, a girl just wants her Mommy. Shannon's Mom held her and we all cried.
For the hundredth time since the day before, I thanked God that she was alive.
More to come....but I'm off to see Our Girl now!
Random Thoughts....
I have a lot of catching up to do to fill everyone in on the events of the past few days, and I do promise to get it done as quickly as I can. I am a first time blogger, and started this project late last night. I am figuring it out as I go, so please, bear with me. If anyone has anything they would like to contribute/add/edit please feel free to send it to me and I will gladly put it up. I know that this blog is written based on my perspective of the last few days. My perspective is the only one that I have access to at the moment!
Just now, as I was drifting off, I started to think about how this will inevitably change my relationship with Shannon. To some degree, I know that every challenge you face in relationship changes it. This just feels so much 'bigger'.
Of course, there is the obvious stuff.
Coming so close to losing someone you love heightens your love for them instantly. You cherish them more. You imagine, for just a moment, what your life would be like without them and you know that you never want to actually live that out. You re-asses your priorities and, where needed, adjust your life and time accordingly. You give out affection and loving words more freely and unabashedly than you did before. You promise yourself you will never take that person, or anyone else you love, for granted ever again so long as you live. And its true. For a period of time. Its true that is, until old habits take over, and the pain of the potential loss dulls with the memory of the incident itself. At least, I am ashamed to admit, that is the way it has been for me thus far.
Don't get me wrong. I adore my friends and family. Losing, or coming close to losing people over the years HAS taught me to love in a new way. It hasn't changed the fact though, that life is messy sometimes and staying focused on what is truly important and finding balance proves difficult at times.
Somehow though, this experience has been different from any other loss or near loss in my life. The time that I have spent with Shannon since her stroke has been like learning to love her in a whole new way. I admire her strength and determination. I think its safe to say we all do. Its more than that too.
Several times in the past few days I felt like I had the opportunity to travel back in time and meet Shannon as a child. Its like catching a glimpse of something you never even took time to imagine, and likely couldn't have conjured up in your mind if you had.
The child in Shannon is so sweet, enthusiastic and incredibly loving. Every once in a while, she pouts. And, as you can imagine, its pretty damn cute. She asks questions you wouldn't expect and listens to the answers with wide eyes and childlike wonder. She is beyond polite to her caregivers and listens to their instructions carefully and respectfully obeys them. She worries about things and asks a lot of questions.
As crazy as this sounds, there is a part of me that will miss that little girl as her condition improves as I know it will. Today, I saw a little less of Shannon's inner child than I did yesterday. This is great news! But, I have just met that little girl and have fallen madly in love with her. I am already wondering if I will forget her when all this is over. Maybe writing this down will help me to remember.
For me, there is a unique and comfortable intimacy that comes from spending time with friends that you have known since childhood. They know you so well. They've seen you through so many awkward phases, mistakes, and grown with you. Its something else entirely though, to be suddenly introduced to a close friends child-self as an adult. I don't know how to describe it, its such a gift!
I am so excited that my relationship with Shannon will have this new 'layer' of love.
Until tomorrow....
LOVE. small word. small world.
Just a quick note to say THANK YOU to everyone for your emails, phone calls, text messages, phone calls and comments on this blog. Please know that simply because I haven't had time to respond to them does not mean that they don't mean the world, especially to Shannon. I read her your text messages and emails and it really lifts her spirits!
This morning I got an email from a friend who is traveling in Peru. She has only met Shannon one, maybe two times, but through the magic of facebook, heard about Shannon's story and found her way to this blog.
She told me about a group meditation for Shannon that she took part in yesterday. Rather than re-tell HER story, you can read about it here:
http://janasyogaspot.blogspot.com/2009/10/inspired-meditation.html
Shannon has improved so much in the past few days that I actually wish I had been taking videos and photos of her so that we could have a record of how far she has come. To say that it is incredible and inspiring seems like such an understatement. She is like a new improved version of her self every single day! She is starting to remember things and her speech and vocabulary improves even as I sit with her.
In my opinion, this is part strength and determination and part miracle. The strength and determination comes from Shannon herself, the miracle comes from all of those who have been praying for her, thinking of her, sending positive energy (insert your 'term' of choice here) and LOVING her. Even strangers, from as far away as Peru!
This morning I got an email from a friend who is traveling in Peru. She has only met Shannon one, maybe two times, but through the magic of facebook, heard about Shannon's story and found her way to this blog.
She told me about a group meditation for Shannon that she took part in yesterday. Rather than re-tell HER story, you can read about it here:
http://janasyogaspot.blogspot.com/2009/10/inspired-meditation.html
Shannon has improved so much in the past few days that I actually wish I had been taking videos and photos of her so that we could have a record of how far she has come. To say that it is incredible and inspiring seems like such an understatement. She is like a new improved version of her self every single day! She is starting to remember things and her speech and vocabulary improves even as I sit with her.
In my opinion, this is part strength and determination and part miracle. The strength and determination comes from Shannon herself, the miracle comes from all of those who have been praying for her, thinking of her, sending positive energy (insert your 'term' of choice here) and LOVING her. Even strangers, from as far away as Peru!
Saturday October 17, 2009
On Friday night Shannon's brother Mike and his girlfriend arrived for a short visit. Knowing that they could only stay for one day and that the hospital wanted to make sure she got her rest, 'the girls' discussed it and decided to wait until later in the day to visit and to keep it short.
Saturday afternoon I popped in to check in on our girl. Shannon had already been moved down one floor to the stroke unit. When I arrived at her room she was propped up in bed wide eyed and in good spirits.
Shannon had 3 new roommates. All, if I had to guess, between the ages of 75-90 years old. In spite of their matching hospital gowns, the Sesame Street melody 'which of these things in not like the other' immediately sprang to mind.
I hugged her and she held on to my sleeve with her left hand. She said "look" and motioned to her lap with her head. Slowly and deliberately she lifted her right arm up off her lap. Amazing!
Her speech had improved since the day prior. Although she was still using mostly one syllable words, and some sounds in place of words, she was starting to string these together more frequently, and somehow, we communicated really well. We laughed and smiled as we encouraged each other on. I kept telling her how great was doing, and she was cheering for me right back. If I knew what she was telling me the first time, or guessed what she needed based on her movements (is your butt sore? do you want a pillow under you? Is your hair bugging you? Should I tie it up?) She would cheer for me and look as proud of me as I was of her. Each small victory got rewarded with an enthusiastic "YA!" and a perfect grin.
As we got better at communicating, it became obvious that the events of the last 48 hours were still confusing, if not forgotten altogether. I asked her if she would like me to explain to her everything that had happened. She nodded yes. As I explained slowly, but with as much detail as I could the events as I knew them, she was silent with the exception of the occasional "oh" and looked interested, and calm. I told her that she is so lucky and such a miracle. She said "I luck" and nodded thoughtfully. I told her "We are lucky too. I can't imagine what I would have done if you didn't make it." We hugged and cried together and said I love you several times.
When the crying was over I told her I couldn't believe how much she had improved already and how impressed everyone is. She nodded. Slowly, and carefully she told me "mayve thee wiks". I smiled and asked "You'll be all better in three weeks?" Again, I got a pleased "Ya". At this point, her nurse (a lovely lady named Wendy) popped her head into Shannon's curtained off corner of the room to tell us she didn't think Shannon would be better in three weeks. That it would likely be more like 3 months, and that she should try to be patient. Shannon smiled a warm smile at Wendy and nodded her understanding. As soon as Wendy was gone she turned back to me with a very knowing look in her eye and repeated "Thee weeks" and nodded as if to say 'That woman doesn't know what she's talking about'.
It wouldn't surprise me in the least if she is right.
Saturday afternoon I popped in to check in on our girl. Shannon had already been moved down one floor to the stroke unit. When I arrived at her room she was propped up in bed wide eyed and in good spirits.
Shannon had 3 new roommates. All, if I had to guess, between the ages of 75-90 years old. In spite of their matching hospital gowns, the Sesame Street melody 'which of these things in not like the other' immediately sprang to mind.
I hugged her and she held on to my sleeve with her left hand. She said "look" and motioned to her lap with her head. Slowly and deliberately she lifted her right arm up off her lap. Amazing!
Her speech had improved since the day prior. Although she was still using mostly one syllable words, and some sounds in place of words, she was starting to string these together more frequently, and somehow, we communicated really well. We laughed and smiled as we encouraged each other on. I kept telling her how great was doing, and she was cheering for me right back. If I knew what she was telling me the first time, or guessed what she needed based on her movements (is your butt sore? do you want a pillow under you? Is your hair bugging you? Should I tie it up?) She would cheer for me and look as proud of me as I was of her. Each small victory got rewarded with an enthusiastic "YA!" and a perfect grin.
As we got better at communicating, it became obvious that the events of the last 48 hours were still confusing, if not forgotten altogether. I asked her if she would like me to explain to her everything that had happened. She nodded yes. As I explained slowly, but with as much detail as I could the events as I knew them, she was silent with the exception of the occasional "oh" and looked interested, and calm. I told her that she is so lucky and such a miracle. She said "I luck" and nodded thoughtfully. I told her "We are lucky too. I can't imagine what I would have done if you didn't make it." We hugged and cried together and said I love you several times.
When the crying was over I told her I couldn't believe how much she had improved already and how impressed everyone is. She nodded. Slowly, and carefully she told me "mayve thee wiks". I smiled and asked "You'll be all better in three weeks?" Again, I got a pleased "Ya". At this point, her nurse (a lovely lady named Wendy) popped her head into Shannon's curtained off corner of the room to tell us she didn't think Shannon would be better in three weeks. That it would likely be more like 3 months, and that she should try to be patient. Shannon smiled a warm smile at Wendy and nodded her understanding. As soon as Wendy was gone she turned back to me with a very knowing look in her eye and repeated "Thee weeks" and nodded as if to say 'That woman doesn't know what she's talking about'.
It wouldn't surprise me in the least if she is right.
Sunday October 18, 2009
On Sunday morning I went to church with my husband and kids. I don't generally cry throughout a service, but this morning everything was different. Thankful doesn't seem like a big enough word. After church I made a quick stop to grab a gift that an out of town friend asked me to deliver to Shannon, a few basic toiletry items and an orchid for Shannon's room, then headed for the hospital.
As I arrived at the hospital Janine and Kristen were walking out of her room and told me that visitors were asked to leave so that Shannon could have a nap. I decided to drop off the things I had brought with me, and then come back later. When I walked into her room Shannon was sitting up in bed again and greeted me with a garbled, but easy to understand "Hey! How are you?" Blown away I said "Oh my goodness! I can't believe how much you have improved since yesterday!" She replied slowly and deliberately "Really? I don't think I am?" to which I replied "Well, yesterday you could not have said 'really? I don't think I am', so YES you've improved so much!". She beamed and said "oohhhh" and looked proud of herself.
Just then, Nurse Wendy popped in again and told me it was time for Shannon to have a nap and I would have to go. Shannon told her "No, I don't want." but then yawned as though the mere suggestion of a nap was enough to make her sleepy. I told her I would come back later, but she still insisted that she was not tired and wanted me to stay. Wendy clearly has children, because that woman delivered the classic mothers disapproving 'look' flawlessly.
In an effort to appease everyone I suggested that I stay, but not talk, and only until Shannon fell asleep. Wendy apparently accepted this, because she closed the curtain all the way around the bed and left. I started to stroke Shannon's hair and whispered "Now, you need to pretend to go to sleep or we'll both get in trouble!" She nodded and smiled a devious little smile. Within 30 seconds her breathing slowed and she drifted off. Just then, one of Shannon's roommates began to shout "R! M! T! 3! C! 9!" Shannon opened her eyes, looked at me and made a face that said "That chick is craaaazy" and then closed her eyes and fell back to sleep.
These little hints of her personality and sense of humor were so bitter sweet in a strange way. Even though she was right in front of me, and even though she had only been at the hospital for 3 days, and even though it is so encouraging on the surface of it, I suddenly missed Shannon SO much. I left the hospital silently praying we'd be back to our old shenanigans, boobie-trapping people's houses, going on long walks with tea and non-stop talking very soon.
As I arrived at the hospital Janine and Kristen were walking out of her room and told me that visitors were asked to leave so that Shannon could have a nap. I decided to drop off the things I had brought with me, and then come back later. When I walked into her room Shannon was sitting up in bed again and greeted me with a garbled, but easy to understand "Hey! How are you?" Blown away I said "Oh my goodness! I can't believe how much you have improved since yesterday!" She replied slowly and deliberately "Really? I don't think I am?" to which I replied "Well, yesterday you could not have said 'really? I don't think I am', so YES you've improved so much!". She beamed and said "oohhhh" and looked proud of herself.
Just then, Nurse Wendy popped in again and told me it was time for Shannon to have a nap and I would have to go. Shannon told her "No, I don't want." but then yawned as though the mere suggestion of a nap was enough to make her sleepy. I told her I would come back later, but she still insisted that she was not tired and wanted me to stay. Wendy clearly has children, because that woman delivered the classic mothers disapproving 'look' flawlessly.
In an effort to appease everyone I suggested that I stay, but not talk, and only until Shannon fell asleep. Wendy apparently accepted this, because she closed the curtain all the way around the bed and left. I started to stroke Shannon's hair and whispered "Now, you need to pretend to go to sleep or we'll both get in trouble!" She nodded and smiled a devious little smile. Within 30 seconds her breathing slowed and she drifted off. Just then, one of Shannon's roommates began to shout "R! M! T! 3! C! 9!" Shannon opened her eyes, looked at me and made a face that said "That chick is craaaazy" and then closed her eyes and fell back to sleep.
These little hints of her personality and sense of humor were so bitter sweet in a strange way. Even though she was right in front of me, and even though she had only been at the hospital for 3 days, and even though it is so encouraging on the surface of it, I suddenly missed Shannon SO much. I left the hospital silently praying we'd be back to our old shenanigans, boobie-trapping people's houses, going on long walks with tea and non-stop talking very soon.
~
I arrived back at the hospital shortly after 3pm. The sleep had served her well, as she seemed even more alert, and her speaking was even more clear than just a few hours prior. She began to try to tell me about the things that she was worried about. She had clients and appointments this week and she couldn't remember most of them. I assured her that I would get her phone (which Janine had, along with her purse, since the chaos of the emergency room on Friday night) and go through her appointments and take care of everything. The more we talked, the more she remembered. I got out a piece of paper and started to write things down. A couple of times she looked at what I was writing and asked me what it said, or what a particular word was. Each time I told her she would smile and say "huh" or "oh". I was continually amazed with her memory. There were 'holes' in it sure, but to suddenly be able to recall a specific address, or a time & date she knew she was supposed to be somewhere after what she had just endured, is impressive to say the least!
After a while I had a list of addresses (for what or whom I wasn't sure) and a list of names or the first letter of a name she couldn't quite recall and a couple of dates that she knew something important was happening. It was a start! I showed her the list and told her not to worry about anything, I would figure it out, and take care of everything. She just needed to focus on getting better and nothing more. She looked at me with a very solomn face and said "have room?" and then corrected herself without prompting to "have time?". I said that of course I had time, and not to spend one more minute worrying about it! Shannon began to cry, just a little at first and then as cried, she began to give in to it. We hugged and she kept saying "thank you" over and over. I kept saying "don't thank me for goodness sakes. Its nothing. Really, its nothing!"
Thankfully at that moment Joanna arrived for a visit. Shannon and I wiped our eyes and welcomed the smiling face of sweet and lovely Jo. We spent the several hours laughing, and being entertained by Shannon complaining about her feeding tube, IV's and showing us all the things she could do. (which included slowly lifting her right arm and capturing her chapstick using two slightly bent fingers! Right side paralysis be damned!!) She pulled out her picture chart and began to demonstrate (at times rather sarcastically) that she knew what each of the cartoon drawings on the chart were. We talked about hockey (as much as Jo and I CAN talk about hockey) and began to plan in detail the legendary 'balls to the wall' trip to Vegas we would all take when this was over. Shannon seemed genuinely happy.
She began to ask again about what had happened. It was the first indication that she wasn't retaining information. I asked her if she remembered what I had told her the day before. She said no. Would she like us to explain it again? Yes. We started at the beginning and could see that the information was as much of a surprise today as it was the day before. We answered her questions as best we could and tried to tell the truth, while at the same time doing our best to keep her spirits up by leaving out some of the scarier details.
Then we asked her a few questions. Did she remember Thursday morning? At first she said that she didn't, but as we described thing we found in her room that to us, were clues to what she may have been doing prior to her stroke (bags from a store etc) she started to piece it together. She kept gaining momentum. It seemed as though the more little bits of information she could recall, the more the memories came. I asked her if she remembered having the stroke. She did. I asked if it hurt. No. Did she know what was happening to her? She didn't, she just felt confused. We started to talk about how Joanna found her and what an incredible blessing it was that she came home and then made the series of choices that she made. Shannon said she remembered seeing Jo, but that by that time she was very confused and in her words 'knew she was in trouble'. We sat in silence for a moment, all of us on the verge of tears, each of us processing the what-ifs in our own way.
Shannon's mother and Father came back, and shortly thereafter, Janine and Kristen arrived for another visit before bedtime. Knowing that we were pushing our luck as far as visitors and out of space in the corner of her shared room, Joanna and I excused ourselves and went home to have a much needed glass of wine to celebrate Shannon's incredible progress.
Monday October 19, 2009
On Monday, Shannon had a full day of tests and consultations. Dr. Watson had promised her on the weekend that he would try to get someone to come and do a swallow test to see if she could have her feeding tube removed. He also requested a speech, strength and cognition test from the rehabilitation department to see if they would consider moving Shannon to the rehab building earlier, in light of her incredible progress. Initially, we had been told that she would be in the stroke ward for about 2 weeks, at which point they would determine if a move to rehab was appropriate, so this possibility after only 3 days was encouraging to say the least!
I had a full day of piecing together Shannon's work life, suspending monthly memberships temporarily, banking and the like.. As a result of this challenge, I also took the time to edit my own phone book so that no names appear as nicknames or initials and all appointments have times, names & notes. If anyone has to step into my life anytime soon, you are WELCOME. It should be easy now! (Those who know me well just started making bets on how long this will last. I'll put $50.00 on less than one month).
When I finally got to the hospital, I ran into Shannon's parents in the parking lot. Shannon's father had to go back to Vancouver for work, so his mother was driving him to the airport. As I approached them to say goodbye Shannon's mother greeted me with a big smile and told me enthusiastically "She moved!! She got moved to special services and they are starting her rehab right away!!" She explained how to find my way to Shannon's new room, on the opposite end of the massive foothills campus, and none of us could stop smiling.
I couldn't get to Shannon's room fast enough! When I walked in, Shannon was sitting up in a wheelchair and she and Janine were sitting and visiting. Her new room was spacious, cozy, with a wardrobe for her things, a window (overlooking the gym, not outside, but still, a window!) and a lot more space for visitors. Shannon spirits were visibly lifted. Her feeding tube was out, and even her paralysis in her face looked improved, it was as though a considerable weight had lifted and it wouldn't be as bad to be here as she thought.
Joanna, Janine and Shannon’s mom had bought or brought her all of her favorite toiletry items, some of her own clothing, her ipod and some movies to make her stay as comfortable as possible. Janine got right to work getting Shannon settled in while Shannon and I visited, and I updated her on what I had figured out from the list we had created the day prior. It seemed her memory was improving by the hour, and was able to tell me two of the names she hadn’t been able to think of in spite of her best efforts the day prior. She was speaking even more clearly, and her vocabulary seemed like it had doubled in a day. She spoke slowly, deliberately and occasionally substituted words or forgot what she was going to say, but her renewed optimism allowed her to shake her head, or shrug and say “Oh well” and laugh it off when she was having trouble, instead of getting frustrated.
We were all in great spirits, and chatted as though we weren’t at the Hospital at all. Shannon was looking forward to her first meal in days and we joked about what on earth the hospital kitchen would come up for a lactose free, gluten free meal.
As we talked Shannon shifted in her seat to watch Janine organizing her growing collection of ‘stuff’ and then all of a sudden got up and walked toward the window ledge where her toiletries were located! I wish I could remember what Janine and I actually shouted at her, but in all the excitement, even as I think back on it now, it just sounds like teenage girls shrieking. Shannon turned around leaned on the edge, smiled at us both and said “I know.”
Joy mixed with relief makes for a funny cocktail of emotion. For the first time in 4 days, I suddenly had an appetite. More than that. I was famished. Once we had confirmation that Shannon’s meal was on its way, Janine and I excused ourselves to see what the cafeteria had to offer.
We stepped into the elevator and the two of us could not stop grinning at each other. Janine was bubbling over and said “Oh my God, I am so relieved!” I completely understood what she meant. As we examined the rather meager offerings of the hospital cafeteria, we couldn’t stop smiling, laughing and saying “Can you believe this?!” We even managed to talk about stuff other than strokes, doctors, logistics, to-do lists etc for the first time in what felt like a very long time. Janine and I purchased a half dozen drink options (apparently joy makes you thirsty too!) some stuff that resembled food, and headed back up to Shannon’s room for a fun-filled evening with good friends.
I had a full day of piecing together Shannon's work life, suspending monthly memberships temporarily, banking and the like.. As a result of this challenge, I also took the time to edit my own phone book so that no names appear as nicknames or initials and all appointments have times, names & notes. If anyone has to step into my life anytime soon, you are WELCOME. It should be easy now! (Those who know me well just started making bets on how long this will last. I'll put $50.00 on less than one month).
When I finally got to the hospital, I ran into Shannon's parents in the parking lot. Shannon's father had to go back to Vancouver for work, so his mother was driving him to the airport. As I approached them to say goodbye Shannon's mother greeted me with a big smile and told me enthusiastically "She moved!! She got moved to special services and they are starting her rehab right away!!" She explained how to find my way to Shannon's new room, on the opposite end of the massive foothills campus, and none of us could stop smiling.
I couldn't get to Shannon's room fast enough! When I walked in, Shannon was sitting up in a wheelchair and she and Janine were sitting and visiting. Her new room was spacious, cozy, with a wardrobe for her things, a window (overlooking the gym, not outside, but still, a window!) and a lot more space for visitors. Shannon spirits were visibly lifted. Her feeding tube was out, and even her paralysis in her face looked improved, it was as though a considerable weight had lifted and it wouldn't be as bad to be here as she thought.
Joanna, Janine and Shannon’s mom had bought or brought her all of her favorite toiletry items, some of her own clothing, her ipod and some movies to make her stay as comfortable as possible. Janine got right to work getting Shannon settled in while Shannon and I visited, and I updated her on what I had figured out from the list we had created the day prior. It seemed her memory was improving by the hour, and was able to tell me two of the names she hadn’t been able to think of in spite of her best efforts the day prior. She was speaking even more clearly, and her vocabulary seemed like it had doubled in a day. She spoke slowly, deliberately and occasionally substituted words or forgot what she was going to say, but her renewed optimism allowed her to shake her head, or shrug and say “Oh well” and laugh it off when she was having trouble, instead of getting frustrated.
We were all in great spirits, and chatted as though we weren’t at the Hospital at all. Shannon was looking forward to her first meal in days and we joked about what on earth the hospital kitchen would come up for a lactose free, gluten free meal.
As we talked Shannon shifted in her seat to watch Janine organizing her growing collection of ‘stuff’ and then all of a sudden got up and walked toward the window ledge where her toiletries were located! I wish I could remember what Janine and I actually shouted at her, but in all the excitement, even as I think back on it now, it just sounds like teenage girls shrieking. Shannon turned around leaned on the edge, smiled at us both and said “I know.”
Joy mixed with relief makes for a funny cocktail of emotion. For the first time in 4 days, I suddenly had an appetite. More than that. I was famished. Once we had confirmation that Shannon’s meal was on its way, Janine and I excused ourselves to see what the cafeteria had to offer.
We stepped into the elevator and the two of us could not stop grinning at each other. Janine was bubbling over and said “Oh my God, I am so relieved!” I completely understood what she meant. As we examined the rather meager offerings of the hospital cafeteria, we couldn’t stop smiling, laughing and saying “Can you believe this?!” We even managed to talk about stuff other than strokes, doctors, logistics, to-do lists etc for the first time in what felt like a very long time. Janine and I purchased a half dozen drink options (apparently joy makes you thirsty too!) some stuff that resembled food, and headed back up to Shannon’s room for a fun-filled evening with good friends.
Meet Virginia
On Tuesday, Shannon got a roommate.
Virginia arrived to share her room, only for one night, before being moved to an assisted living facility. She was, if I had to guess, somewhere between 60 & 70, with short curly gray hair and a loud voice, that seemed as though it was somehow made louder by rolling sound thick Spanish accent. Virgina had also suffered a stroke 2 and a half months prior. Although she could speak perfectly, her paralysis was ongoing.
Joanna, Janine and I were visiting with Shannon in her new bedroom, and Virginia’s son was at her bedside for a short while, so a nurse closed the curtain between the two beds to offer each of them whatever privacy it could afford.
We asked Shannon about her day, what kinds of tests and exercises filled her afternoon and if she knew what her schedule would be for the rest of the week. Earlier in the day, she’d had some sort of test that involved swallowing something, and for reasons I never complete understood, the meal we’d planned (Steak Tartar from the Living Room) had to be postponed.
Shannon told us that she had thought her days would be busier than the last two had been. She said that if everyday was like this, she would be bored and perhaps go exploring the rest of the hospital. One of the girls (I can’t recall who) suggested that she sneak into the maternity ward and stare at all the new babies for entertainment. The mention of babies must have made our uterus’ kick into overdrive because we actually chatted about what a great idea this would be for a few minutes.
All of a sudden this booming stage-worthy voice piped up from the other side of the curtain and said “Girls, girls GIRLS. No, no, NO. What you want wit BABIES?! You don want that. No Babies!” Then she continued in a wistful voice “Go to da GYM. There are so many mens there in da day. Nice mens. Wit nice muscles, and da loose clothing, you know?” All of us were roaring! Undaunted, and not in any way kidding, Virginia continued. “Oh yaaa, you will like it, you will see. Wit their muscles, in their clothes, and its real nice because they are all vulnerable!”
If laughter really is the best medicine, we ALL got a little healing from Virginia’s one night stay. I hope she is well, wherever she is now.
Virginia arrived to share her room, only for one night, before being moved to an assisted living facility. She was, if I had to guess, somewhere between 60 & 70, with short curly gray hair and a loud voice, that seemed as though it was somehow made louder by rolling sound thick Spanish accent. Virgina had also suffered a stroke 2 and a half months prior. Although she could speak perfectly, her paralysis was ongoing.
Joanna, Janine and I were visiting with Shannon in her new bedroom, and Virginia’s son was at her bedside for a short while, so a nurse closed the curtain between the two beds to offer each of them whatever privacy it could afford.
We asked Shannon about her day, what kinds of tests and exercises filled her afternoon and if she knew what her schedule would be for the rest of the week. Earlier in the day, she’d had some sort of test that involved swallowing something, and for reasons I never complete understood, the meal we’d planned (Steak Tartar from the Living Room) had to be postponed.
Shannon told us that she had thought her days would be busier than the last two had been. She said that if everyday was like this, she would be bored and perhaps go exploring the rest of the hospital. One of the girls (I can’t recall who) suggested that she sneak into the maternity ward and stare at all the new babies for entertainment. The mention of babies must have made our uterus’ kick into overdrive because we actually chatted about what a great idea this would be for a few minutes.
All of a sudden this booming stage-worthy voice piped up from the other side of the curtain and said “Girls, girls GIRLS. No, no, NO. What you want wit BABIES?! You don want that. No Babies!” Then she continued in a wistful voice “Go to da GYM. There are so many mens there in da day. Nice mens. Wit nice muscles, and da loose clothing, you know?” All of us were roaring! Undaunted, and not in any way kidding, Virginia continued. “Oh yaaa, you will like it, you will see. Wit their muscles, in their clothes, and its real nice because they are all vulnerable!”
If laughter really is the best medicine, we ALL got a little healing from Virginia’s one night stay. I hope she is well, wherever she is now.
Movie for Shannon!
I know I have fallen waaaay behind on the blog updates! For those of you who have emailed me a 'nudge' to write again, its coming soon, I promise!
In the mean time, here is a link to a movie in honor of Shannon that Michelle Pittet made with love: (Shannon has seen it and gave her permission to post). GREAT JOB MICHELLE! Thank you for taking the time to create this!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2i3ojLs-OyQ
In the mean time, here is a link to a movie in honor of Shannon that Michelle Pittet made with love: (Shannon has seen it and gave her permission to post). GREAT JOB MICHELLE! Thank you for taking the time to create this!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2i3ojLs-OyQ
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